LittleMizzMe

Fathers day

Kategori: Smått&Gott

Its the 14:th of Novmber and in sweden the ground is cowered with snow. A withe blanket keeping it all safe and sound from the cold air - or something that suddenly took away all the sunshine and warms and made things cold and unbarring but still something you set your heart and mind on defeating.. and kind of that same double point of view I look upon this day.

I look at all the cards in the stores, the commercials about the happy family, the mums making cakes, the children getting ties and socks, the glitter and the expectation for what dad will say when he sees your drawing for the first time, the one you've so proudly written "daddy I love you" all on your own..
At the same time as I want to remember playing around, having fun and laughing, my mind is also filled with endless nights and lonely days thinking to my self, asking God the big "W-H-Y", constantly trying to think that h would not put more on me then I could bear, yet the bottom of it all seemed frightenedly close..
I was a big girl now, I was a big sister, I was the oldest, i was suppose to know better, The one they would look upon to learn, the one to set an example, of course nothing was ever perfect - for in your eyes what was ever perfect except for you and you alone. Nothing was ever great with me.. it was always "next time - think about"..
Despite it all, I still find my self upon this day of fathers drying tears of my cheeks wishing for my daddy to be here, putting his arms around me telling me he loves me no matter what, not because of the things I do, but because Im simply me. The result of a special moment between him and my mother.
So to all of you who has that special look given to you, that genuine smile of prideness meant for you alone, someone whos there simply to tell you Hello and goodbye as you leave home - dont take it all for granted.
Be grateful for every moment that you have and count nothing but your blessings and laughter together.

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